יום ראשון, ינואר 16, 2005
On the sixth day, God created dinosaurs

HaRav Elya Ber Wachtfogel
Rosh Yeshiva,Yeshivas South Fallsberg

HaRav Yitzchok Sheiner
Rosh Yeshiva, Yeshivas Kamenitz

Dear Rabbis,

I am writing to express my heartfelt glee regarding the ban on evil books you have recently propagated. Nothing makes me happier than seeing posters, in public, on walls in Jerusalem condemning other Jews and their books. If this sort of bold declaration doesn't bring Moshiach, I don't know what will

I especially liked your statement, Rav Wachtfogel, about the infallibility of our holy, divinely inspired, sages. According to Deih V'dibur, a wonderful Torah publication, though they appear on the treif Internet, you said: And he [Slifkin the heretic] also writes that Chazal Hakedoshim can err chas vesholom in worldly matters chas vesholom and therefore [they can err] in halochoh as well chas vesholom, as he wrongly proves from maseches Horayos"

To my deep shame and embaressment, my shul has yet to expel a few rebellious and kofer-dik YU boys, who have said, within earshot of the Sefer Torah, that Sages are falliable. Though I have done my best, via my hat and jacket, to demonstrate the superiority of my hashkofa, and the wrongness of their position, these boys refuse to see their error. I am positive their attitude will improve once I show them Rav Wachtfogel's brilliant, yet fabulously logical denial of both Leviticus 4:13-21 and the first mishna in Horayot.

As your ban makes clear: Science is the Yetzer Hara's playground. The Yetzer Hara, or Satan as my very close Christians friends call him, subverts our respect for God and the Sages by dazzling us with fancy theories and the statements of Rishonim and Achronim. Your ban rejects Satan's science and Satan's sages and instead gives us the pure, unadulterated, science of the Bible. I, for one, couldn't be happier, and I look forward to using this ban to humiliate my neighbors, and to further deepen the already-deep divisions between Jews.

With Torah, Nevim and Ketuvim blessings, I am

Yitzhak Eyezik,
Torah True Jew

PS: I know you're both busy researching the next eagerlly-awaited ban, but if you have time please review the works of Dr. Kent Hovind. You'll like him. He sounds like our kind of man, and I trust him the way I trust all Christians. Like me, he and his people believe in God, hate gays, and oppose abortion. As Hillel said, the rest is commentary.

<< Home

Powered by Blogger